Tag Archives: spiritual attack

Bride Wars

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Introduction (written c. November 17, 2012):

Okay… so I wrote this post a while ago, actually, when Selina was home for Labor Day and I was really struggling with jealousy over her wedding. I was sort of debating whether or not to even post this.

I decided to because a) well it’s honest and b) I think it says something that’s sort of important. Plus c) it might maybe be helpful if you’re thinking of getting married someday or if d) you have some extra space on your prayers list.
The Post (written c. September 3, 2012):

For those of you who don’t yet know:

My sister Selina is engaged.

I am engaged.

I am older.

She is younger.

She was engaged first.

I am getting married first.

Two words, people:

Bride Wars.

I don’t know how it happened! And I can hardly remember a time when I have found myself in a less satisfactory position. I have been engaged in a spiritual struggle lately, in which I have been so (SO) tempted to see my life as (as Meredith so wisely put it) “a zero sum game.” That means: Selina’s dress… takes away from my dress. Her flowers from my flowers. Her adorable doily-candle-holders from my I-don’t-have-anything-like-that-in-my-wedding(s).

Awwww, sisterly conflict. It can be so cute if you’re tiny and Asian.

Now I want you to notice something about these examples. Dresses, flowers, doily-candle-holders: they’re are all… things. Things! Really pretty things, but things nonetheless. It’s not that I’m jealous of Selina’s fiance. It’s that I’m jealous of her things.

That is silly. That is really, really silly!

The first and most important purpose of this post is to ask you all to please, please pray for me and for all brides or brides-to-be! Because I’m pretty sure (is it wrong to say I hope?!?!) I’m not the only one who feels this way. And I super-de-duper don’t want to, and I bet other brides don’t either. Because really — why are we all getting married? Oh yeah because we’re answering a vocation. And being united in a sacrament. And loving another person more than ourselves. And all sorts of other things that aren’t at ALL compatible with envy. So their sometimes-coinciding is, well, really uncomfortable.

The other primary purpose of this post is to say that brides today struggle with envy, jealousy and greed because of:

  1. Well, original sin, duh, but also and more importantly
  2.  The constant assault on brides by the wedding industry. Which is often actually
  3. Assault on brides by the devil. Because what does the devil do? He attacks those things that are most powerful in the most insidious way possible.
  4. If you think I am going overboard here (see pt 7), yeah yeah yeah you’re not alone.

Nevertheless, I want to ask you to pray for us. For me, my sister, all brides (which now, as I’m re-writing this, includes Brianna! And my cousin Grace! Whoop! Our family is a-growin.) Because again, the devil likes to assault those things that are the most effective avenues of grace in our lives.

Mary, Queen of Peace, pray for us.

Addendum (Written January 7, 2013):

Selina and Andrew have set a date! Please keep them in your prayers, since Andrew just went off to Naval Officer Training (I think that’s what it’s called?) in an… undisclosed location? Just in case?

Anyway, he’ll be gone for at least three months, and he and Selina are only allowed written correspondence. They are doing really great though, and I’m so proud of my little sister and how maturely she is handling such a difficult wedding planning situation!

I was so afraid that even after Dan and I were married I might experience some sort of retroactive envy for Selina’s big day. But: so far so good? I’m hoping this is due to the marital grace people keep telling me about, and that it’s going to stick around.

I did, however, have a nightmare that Selina decided she wanted her reception theme to be: bilingual. Not that that makes any sense. The point is, all the toasters had to give their toasts first in English and then in Spanish. So I was freaking out at the reception trying to write a speech that was both as heartfelt as Maura’s at my wedding… and simple enough to be quickly translated into remedial Spanish.

It was horrible. I was all like, “A bilingual theme?? Seriously Selina?!”

Totally something she would do, too.

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The sneaky little booger.

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Seven Quick Takes Monday

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Seven Quick Takes Monday! This is Reesa.

— 1 —

Isn’t it weird that Rachel and I share a blog? I mean, have you read our posts?? So different. SO different. And they attract, I think, very different kinds of readers

…Or at least they would. If the majority of our readers weren’t… our friends and family members (Hi, Mom!!)

But, whatever, judging by the commenters on Rachel’s recent Les Mis post versus the (less sizable group but still consisting of non-real-life-acquaintances) commenters on my recent Quick Takes… they would be really different.

And yet, Rachel and I feel it is entirely (if inexplicably) appropriate and not-weird that we share a blog! How can this be? How can I articulate this reality-of-the-shared-blog?? I guess I will have to be overly self-reflective and figure out what exactly makes it work… or not work?!

I’ll return to this in another post. Or Rachel will. Since, you know, we’re so simpatico.

— 2 —

I have an announcement! And let’s just get it out there: I’m not pregnant. Sheesh people. It hasn’t even been a month. That would be wonderful. But, it is not the case.

Announcement: My dear friend Meredith is in love, is getting married next year, and… has asked me to be her maid of honor. I almost cried when she did. I was all like, “Meredith… I can’t be your maid of honor. I’M MARRIED.”

bride and bridesmaid

Imagine this picture, but reversed!

SO Matron of Honor it is! Really though, I am so so so excited, and I did almost cry. Meredith is going to be a RADIANT bride, she has been such a good friend to me, and I am  so honored and happy to get to be with her on her wedding day.  Also I am excited to live vicariously through her, since weddings are so much fun and mine is O to the VER.

— 3 —

Speaking of pregnancy, my brother Joseph (age 8) has been pretty vocal on the subject lately. He keeps on saying, “Man, I’m going to be an uncle soon!” or, “Wow! I’m going to be an uncle by the time I’m thirteen!” This makes me very suspicious of what my parents say when I’m not around.

Also, when my sisters were in town for Christmas, Dan and I went over to play Apples to Apples with the fam. We were in the middle of a game when Joseph jumped out of his seat to run and show Dan and me the card he’d just drawn. It said: “Babies.”

Apples to Apples

Dude. Seriously. In God’s time.

— 4 —

Deborah asked me this weekend if I had any book recommendations that were “meaningful but not to heavy.” I came up with one:

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
By Donald Miller

Which has been my go-to recommendation for about a year now.  Jennifer Fulwiler wrote a completely fantastic review and endorsement for it in her article Living an Awesome Story.

My good friend Jenn (different Jenn) also recommended:

The Saints' Guide to Happiness

The Saints’ Guide to Happiness

which she described as a book instrumental in her re-conversion to Catholicism and re-commitment to being a more authentic person. It’s been sitting on my bookshelves, but I’m going to try to start it this week.

DEBORAH, DO YOU READ OUR BLOG?? I recommend this book, too.

Fun fact: I was looking for this book at Barnes and Noble, and I kept on asking for “The Saints’ Plural Possessive Guide to Happiness” (because that apostrophe placement is tricky). The girl who was helping me wasn’t getting any results online, because she kept searching for the title: “The Saints Possessive Guide to Happiness.” What?!

— 5 —

Moira (the teensy baby I am lucky enough to nanny) is taking a music class! This sounds crazy, since she can’t yet walk, talk, crawl (well)… anything. But: I LOVE IT. No talking allowed. The teacher makes us sing the entire class. So you have to sing, not say, any questions you have, e.g. “Whaaaaat page-are-we-onnnnn?”

I don’t like singing in front of people as a rule. But if those people are babies, it’s kind of nice!

— 6 —

Dan and I are trying to decide something important (SPOILER: not a baby) and would super appreciate prayers right now ifff you happen to have any extra room on your prayer list. Humility is key in this decision, so if you have a spot for that specifically it would be much appreciated thankssss!!

— 7 —

Possibly since we’re trying to decide something important (or, alternatively, because I’ve been reading too many Catholic blogs) I’ve lately been interpreting basically everything that goes wrong in my life as a form of spiritual attack. Had a bad dream? Spiritual attack. Lost my phone? Spiritual attack. Spilled my coffee? SPIRITUAL ATTACK!!!

I may be going overboard here.

Catholic Scrupulosity Meme

What else is new.

Love,

Reesa