I feel the need to explain, all of the following occurred today. Before noon.
- After vacuuming, I was (very maturely) emptying the dust off my porch when a gust of wind blew the lovely ALLERGEN FILLED DUST directly back into my left eye.
(Like this only way less cute and way more swollen… but I did totally make this face.)
4.) Undeterred by this failed attempt at adulthood, I continued to clean my apartment. I even cut my expired drivers license in half, threw it out, and took the bag down to the dumpster.
5.) When I returned to organize my wallet , I suddenly realized that I had in fact thrown away my VALID license.
6.) I ran down to to the dumpster. Which had already been emptied.
7. ) Again, VERY MATURELY, I rushed (carefully) to the DMV to get a replacement license before I had to leave town at 2:30 for the next 3 days.
8. ) After waiting an hour and a half, I got a new license! Unfortuately, in order to do so, the DMV lady insisted that I replace my perfectly passable ID picture with a NEW ID picture.
WITHOUT: makeup, clean hair, clean face, smile, soul, etc.
WITH: (the lovely accessories every girl needs) one swollen pink eye, 3 large pimples, and one particularly surly expression.
(IMAGE WITHELD FOR VIEWER’S SANITY. You might find it too funny. Or terrible. I’m not sure.)
9.) As I signed the temporary document, I realized what today’s date was….
APRIL. FREAKING. FOOLS.
I could choose to think that this all occurred because the universe hates me. Instead, I choose to believe that the Universe finds my attempts at adulthood FREAKING HILARIOUS.
Well played, Universe. Well played.