Dear Rachel, APRIL FOOLS! Sincerely, The Universe.

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By Rachel

I feel the need to explain, all of the following occurred today. Before noon.

  1. After vacuuming, I was (very maturely) emptying the dust off my porch when a gust of wind blew the lovely ALLERGEN FILLED DUST directly back into my left eye.

Image

3.) Needless to say, the eye promptly turned red and the lid swelled almost shut.Image

(Like this only way less cute and way more swollen… but I did totally make this face.)

4.) Undeterred by this failed attempt at adulthood, I continued to clean my apartment. I even cut my expired drivers license in half, threw it out, and took the bag down to the dumpster.

5.) When I returned to organize my wallet , I suddenly realized that I had in fact thrown away my VALID license.

images

6.) I ran down to to the dumpster. Which had already been emptied.

angry-no

7. ) Again, VERY MATURELY, I rushed (carefully) to the DMV to get a replacement license before I had to leave town at 2:30 for the next 3 days.

GC qm DN15-DMV-DC

8. ) After waiting an hour and a half, I got a new license! Unfortuately, in order to do so, the DMV lady insisted that I replace my perfectly passable ID picture with a NEW ID picture.

WITHOUT: makeup, clean hair, clean face, smile, soul, etc.

WITH: (the lovely accessories every girl needs) one swollen pink eye, 3 large pimples, and one particularly surly expression.

(IMAGE WITHELD FOR VIEWER’S SANITY. You might find it too funny. Or terrible. I’m not sure.)

 

9.) As I signed the temporary document, I realized what today’s date was….

APRIL. FREAKING. FOOLS. 

I could choose to think that this all occurred because the universe hates me. Instead, I choose to believe that the Universe finds my attempts at adulthood FREAKING HILARIOUS.

Well played, Universe. Well played.

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About rachelandreesa

We are two people. One is Rachel. The other is me, Teresa. Rachel didn't want to write the introductory material so you're stuck with what I come up with. Hahah! We both just graduated from the University of Dallas with a degree (Two, actually!) in English. We rocked at it. Both us. Respectively. In totally and completely different ways. Okay moving on. Rachel is blonde. I am not. Rachel has brown eyes (hazel eyes she says. Do you want to write this Rachel?!?). Okay we'll post a picture forget the rest. In conclusion, there is no good reason for us to start a blog, and there is even less reason for us to do one together, besides a joint tendency to interpret life in a literary fashion... TO A RIDICULOUS DEGREE. IT'S RIDICULOUS. Furthermore and finally, there are rules for reading our blog. It's a game. The game starts now. You have to score one thousand points. If you do that, you take home a tank with a big gun. Each day we will announce the scores from that loudspeaker. The one who has the fewest points will have to wear a sign that says "Jackass" on his back. There are three ways to lose points. One, turning into a big crybaby. Two, telling us you want to see your mommy. Three, saying you're hungry and want something to eat. FORGET IT!

One response »

  1. hahaha! Although I am very sorry that the Universe played all of these mean jokes on you, I must admit that your description of these events had me laughing out loud.

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