Things My Students say…

Standard

I love teaching. I mean I really love teaching.

Except on the days when I don’t. I have had a couple of those days in the past week or so.

I don’t have a good solution for this or a grace-filled perspective on the problem yet, so I would really appreciate any prayers that you have to offer on the subject. In the meantime, here are some things my students have said to me that have made not laughing VERY DIFFICULT:

  1. (Confusedly, after I handed them a hand-annotated-by-me-in-one-night script, notes packet, and schedule of grades for the Macbeth segment so that they don’t have to use the stupid text book.) Ms. Davies…. you really think! Are you on crack?
  2. Would you like me to buy you a gun?
  3. You go, girl!
  4. How many words are in a sentence?
  5. Wait, Huck isn’t black?
  6. So… you have gold eyes, and you look really young, but you know everything… are you a vampire? (This, by the way, is the worst compliment I have ever received.)
  7. Wait, so let me get this straight: Hester Jester was married to (in a British accent) Chillingworth (in American accent) but then she hooked up with Dimwit and had Rose. I mean Pearl. I mean Rose. What’s her name? Can we go outside?
  8. So adverbs modify verbs? (This is a 10th grader.)
  9. Me: What do you care about?

    Student: Basketball.

    Me: And?

    Student: Nothing. Well, reading basketball stats. Does that count?

  10. Student: I don’t like Pride and Prejudice. Can we read something with dragons again? I liked Beowulf. And Macbeth.

    Me: Macbeth doesn’t have dragons.

    Student: Really? Oh. Nevermind.

  11. Me: I won’t be here on Friday, so you will be writing your in-class-essays for a substitute.

    Student 1: Where are you going? Are you getting married?

    Student 2: No! She doesn’t have a ring.

    Student 3: Are you having a baby?

    Student 2: What did I just say, stupid?!

    Student 1: It could happen…

    Student 3: Well, she’s gonna get engaged soon. I can tell.

    Me: EXCUSE ME!

    Student 1: Wait, we have to write an essay on Friday?

    (We write in-class-essays EVERY Friday. We have written one every Friday since the beginning of the year.)

  12. Student: I think that Twain is imitating Emily Dickinson in this passage!

    Me: I had never noticed that. I think you’re right. Good eye! That is definitely an allusion.

    Student: You mean it’s an easter egg, Ms. Davies.

    Me:… No…

OK, so that is it for now. Pray for me. Laugh at me. Enjoy the mirth that my students share with me daily… mostly unintentionally.

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About rachelandreesa

We are two people. One is Rachel. The other is me, Teresa. Rachel didn't want to write the introductory material so you're stuck with what I come up with. Hahah! We both just graduated from the University of Dallas with a degree (Two, actually!) in English. We rocked at it. Both us. Respectively. In totally and completely different ways. Okay moving on. Rachel is blonde. I am not. Rachel has brown eyes (hazel eyes she says. Do you want to write this Rachel?!?). Okay we'll post a picture forget the rest. In conclusion, there is no good reason for us to start a blog, and there is even less reason for us to do one together, besides a joint tendency to interpret life in a literary fashion... TO A RIDICULOUS DEGREE. IT'S RIDICULOUS. Furthermore and finally, there are rules for reading our blog. It's a game. The game starts now. You have to score one thousand points. If you do that, you take home a tank with a big gun. Each day we will announce the scores from that loudspeaker. The one who has the fewest points will have to wear a sign that says "Jackass" on his back. There are three ways to lose points. One, turning into a big crybaby. Two, telling us you want to see your mommy. Three, saying you're hungry and want something to eat. FORGET IT!

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