I love teaching. I mean I really love teaching.
Except on the days when I don’t. I have had a couple of those days in the past week or so.
I don’t have a good solution for this or a grace-filled perspective on the problem yet, so I would really appreciate any prayers that you have to offer on the subject. In the meantime, here are some things my students have said to me that have made not laughing VERY DIFFICULT:
- (Confusedly, after I handed them a hand-annotated-by-me-in-one-night script, notes packet, and schedule of grades for the Macbeth segment so that they don’t have to use the stupid text book.) Ms. Davies…. you really think! Are you on crack?
- Would you like me to buy you a gun?
- You go, girl!
- How many words are in a sentence?
- Wait, Huck isn’t black?
- So… you have gold eyes, and you look really young, but you know everything… are you a vampire? (This, by the way, is the worst compliment I have ever received.)
- Wait, so let me get this straight: Hester Jester was married to (in a British accent) Chillingworth (in American accent) but then she hooked up with Dimwit and had Rose. I mean Pearl. I mean Rose. What’s her name? Can we go outside?
- So adverbs modify verbs? (This is a 10th grader.)
- Me: What do you care about?
Student: Nothing. Well, reading basketball stats. Does that count?
- Student: I don’t like Pride and Prejudice. Can we read something with dragons again? I liked Beowulf. And Macbeth.
Me: Macbeth doesn’t have dragons.
Student: Really? Oh. Nevermind.
- Me: I won’t be here on Friday, so you will be writing your in-class-essays for a substitute.
Student 1: Where are you going? Are you getting married?
Student 2: No! She doesn’t have a ring.
Student 3: Are you having a baby?
Student 2: What did I just say, stupid?!
Student 1: It could happen…
Student 3: Well, she’s gonna get engaged soon. I can tell.
Me: EXCUSE ME!
Student 1: Wait, we have to write an essay on Friday?
(We write in-class-essays EVERY Friday. We have written one every Friday since the beginning of the year.)
- Student: I think that Twain is imitating Emily Dickinson in this passage!
Me: I had never noticed that. I think you’re right. Good eye! That is definitely an allusion.
Student: You mean it’s an easter egg, Ms. Davies.
OK, so that is it for now. Pray for me. Laugh at me. Enjoy the mirth that my students share with me daily… mostly unintentionally.